cow​/​boy music (for special occasions)

by brooke maxwell

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about

a bunch of crazy songs i've written for atomic vaudeville and others.

credits

released March 27, 2009

written, performed and produced by brooke maxwell

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all rights reserved

about

brooke maxwell Victoria, British Columbia

Brooke Maxwell is a Victoria-based freelance composer/musician/educator. Major composing credits include the acclaimed hit musical, Ride the Cyclone [Atomic Vaudeville/Alchemation], the English premiere of And Slowly Beauty [Belfry/NAC], the North American premiere of A Tender Thing [Belfry]. He would like to thank his parents for forcing him to stay in piano lessons. ... more

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Track Name: Vau-de-ville!
doo doo doo doo doo doo
Track Name: When the Freaks Come Out
THIS IS THE NIGHT WHEN THE FREAKS COME OUT

Hm chucka pow pow goo pop
Hm chucka pow pow goo pop

Hm chucka pow pow goo pop
Hm chucka pow pow goo pop
Hm chucka pow pow goo pop
Hm chucka pow pow goo pop

This is the night when the freaks come out,
When the freaks come out,
When the freaks come out.
This is the night when the freaks come out,
To share their tales of woooooo-uh!

There’s Hemo Hank, and Heartbreak Hannah,
Who found themselves a love that couldn’t last…
And the Siamese twins, in love with the same man.
How’s that story end? ------
So glad you asked

This is the night when the freaks come out,
When the freaks come out,
When the freaks come out.
This is the night when the freaks come out,
To share their tales of woooooo-uh!

The midget and the lady with the beard upon her face
Have a tragic, tragic tale of Sapphic lust.
We can see you’ve taken interest in our freaky little lives,
Perhaps now you can see --------- you’re one of us—uh!

Huh!
Now dance!
Hoo ha


This is the night when the freaks come out,
When the freaks come out,
When the freaks come out.
Yes, this is the night when the freaks come out,
To share their tales of woe.
How low, can you go?
Track Name: Where the Smiles are Always Free
Where the smiles are always free

I know there’s a place,
Where the golden sun is shining
There’s a smile on every face

I know there will come an Age
When every color, every nation,
Will work for minimum wage.

And the place is here,
Wherever you are.
Be it Kazakhstan
Or Vancou-var

Yes the time is now,
How it could be…
Won’t you take me to the place where the smiles are always free.

As Thomas Friedman said "No two countries that both had McDonald's have fought a war against each other since each got its McDonald's". May the Golden Arches of Peace lead us towards a new tomorrow! Those terrorists don’t know what they’re missing!

I know there’s a place,
Where the golden sun is shining
There’s a smile on every face

I know there will come an Age
When every color, every nation,
Will work for minimum wage.

And the place is here, Make love
Wherever you are. Make waste
Be it Kazakhstan Save the world
Or Vancou-var With a great taste
Yes the time is now, You deserve it
How it could be… Ooo, everyday
Won’t you take me to the place where the smiles are always free.
Won’t you take me to the place where the smiles are always free.
There’s a small price to pay, but the smiles are always free!
Track Name: Nelly Furtado Day
{What are you doing on} Nelly Furtado Day?

Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do?
Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do?
Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do?
Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do?

There’s a very special time of year… [ECHO]
It’s the first day of spring [ECHO]
A celebration like no other [ECHO]
And it makes the people sing! [it makes the peo-ple sing!]

[What are you doing…]
On Nelly Furtado Day?
[What are you doing…]
V-I-C-T-OR-I-A
[What are you doing…]
On Nelly Furtado Day?
[Everybody Britney dance!]
piano thing [whoo!]

Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do?
Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do?
Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do?
Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do?

Has Christmas lost its meaning? [ECHO]
Is Jesus out of date? [ECHO]
Well there’s a little Portuguese girl… [a little Portuguese girl]
Givin’ reason to celebrate [reason to celebrate!]

oh that boring national anthem, [stupid national anthem]
It’s irritating and absurd. [ECHO]
Children really should be learning, [ECHO]
To sing ‘I’m like a bird’ [I’m like a bird]

[What are you doing…]
On Nelly Furtado Day?
[What are you doing…]
V-I-C-T-OR-I-A
[What are you doing…]
On Nelly Furtado Day?

[Everybody Britney dance!]
piano thing [whoo!]
Track Name: Trout Thursday
Trout Thursday Theme Song

Stuart's got a bag of potatoes
Stuart's got a bag of potatoes
Stuart's got a bag of potatoes
and Newtie's gettin' his wish
'Cause Andy bought the fresh fish

Brookie's got some fresh-cut-up onions
Brookie's got some onions fresh cut
Brookie's got some fresh-cut-up onions
He's cookin' them up with the fish
and putting them all in a dish

It's not a Friday
or a Saturday
or a Sunday
or a Monday
or a Tuesday
or a Wednesday
oh no...

It's a Trout Thursday! (We got us some fish)
It's a Trout Thursday! (Put it into a dish)
It's a Trout Thursday! (And we're wearin' our toques)
It's a Trout Thursday! (Gee, I hope we don't puke)

Chippie wants to sleep in 'til Friday
Dietey wants to sleep that long too
Brookie wants to wake all his friends up
And that's what he's gonna do
Brookie, Andy, Newtie and Stu

Rise and shine my happy roommates
Wake up boys, it's a special day
Rise and shine, come and eat breakfast
We cut up that trout with a knife
Today's the best day of your life

CHORUS

Stuart's got a bag of potatoes
Stuart's got a bag of potatoes
Stuart's got a bag of potatoes
And we're all gettin' our wish
Because of that god-given fish...

Copyright ©1997, 2002 Brooke Maxwell. All rights reserved.
Track Name: Where the Smiles are Always Free [pump organ remix]
Where the Smiles are Always Free

I know there’s a place,
Where the golden sun is shining
There’s a smile on every face

I know there will come an Age
When every color, every nation,
Will work for minimum wage.

And the place is here,
Wherever you are.
Be it Kazakhstan
Or Vancou-var

Yes the time is now,
How it could be…
Won’t you take me to the place where the smiles are always free.
Track Name: I Like It Mild
Heat waves? Hailstorms? How boring!
Tsunamis and tornados? Oh please…
I prefer my tempests in a teacup.
My wicked tastes are more overcast…
‘Round about fourteen degrees… Muh ha ha ha

I like it mild, and mild it shall be!
Oh that must fill your heart with trepidation!
Yes, slightly cloudy with a hint of sunshine, I decree!
And possibly a slight chance of … precipitation. [hands rub together…]

You wish for snowfall? A white Christmas? Oh, you can dream!
I give you drizzle! [Santa never reads your letters!] ho ho!
And summer sunshine? Blue skies and ice cream? Ha ha!
Well, while I’m the reason that you’ll have to… pack your sweaters! [bwa ha ha!]

Oh you might expect that someone with my genius
Would make thunderclouds and lightning fill the sky!
You think I’d show my rage with stormy weather.
But actually, I’m a pretty happy guy… seriously!!!
[this is just kind of a hobby …]

I like it mild, and mild it shall be!
Oh that must fill your heart with trepidation!
When I feel wild, I might just raise it one degree! Ha!
But there’s always just the slight chance of precipitation!

It’s true, on a whim, I could totally ruin your summer vacation.
These powers are only limited by my…. Imagination!

[unresolved --> skit]

Muh ha ha! I like it mild! Ha ha ha ha ha!

[Choir]
Mild----------------------------
Mild--------------------------
Mild-----------------------
Mild-------------------
Mild---------------