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THIS IS THE NIGHT WHEN THE FREAKS COME OUT Hm chucka pow pow goo pop Hm chucka pow pow goo pop Hm chucka pow pow goo pop Hm chucka pow pow goo pop Hm chucka pow pow goo pop Hm chucka pow pow goo pop This is the night when the freaks come out, When the freaks come out, When the freaks come out. This is the night when the freaks come out, To share their tales of woooooo-uh! There’s Hemo Hank, and Heartbreak Hannah, Who found themselves a love that couldn’t last… And the Siamese twins, in love with the same man. How’s that story end? ------ So glad you asked This is the night when the freaks come out, When the freaks come out, When the freaks come out. This is the night when the freaks come out, To share their tales of woooooo-uh! The midget and the lady with the beard upon her face Have a tragic, tragic tale of Sapphic lust. We can see you’ve taken interest in our freaky little lives, Perhaps now you can see --------- you’re one of us—uh! Huh! Now dance! Hoo ha This is the night when the freaks come out, When the freaks come out, When the freaks come out. Yes, this is the night when the freaks come out, To share their tales of woe. How low, can you go?

Where the smiles are always free I know there’s a place, Where the golden sun is shining There’s a smile on every face I know there will come an Age When every color, every nation, Will work for minimum wage. And the place is here, Wherever you are. Be it Kazakhstan Or Vancou-var Yes the time is now, How it could be… Won’t you take me to the place where the smiles are always free. As Thomas Friedman said "No two countries that both had McDonald's have fought a war against each other since each got its McDonald's". May the Golden Arches of Peace lead us towards a new tomorrow! Those terrorists don’t know what they’re missing! I know there’s a place, Where the golden sun is shining There’s a smile on every face I know there will come an Age When every color, every nation, Will work for minimum wage. And the place is here, Make love Wherever you are. Make waste Be it Kazakhstan Save the world Or Vancou-var With a great taste Yes the time is now, You deserve it How it could be… Ooo, everyday Won’t you take me to the place where the smiles are always free. Won’t you take me to the place where the smiles are always free. There’s a small price to pay, but the smiles are always free!

{What are you doing on} Nelly Furtado Day? Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do? There’s a very special time of year… [ECHO] It’s the first day of spring [ECHO] A celebration like no other [ECHO] And it makes the people sing! [it makes the peo-ple sing!] [What are you doing…] On Nelly Furtado Day? [What are you doing…] V-I-C-T-OR-I-A [What are you doing…] On Nelly Furtado Day? [Everybody Britney dance!] piano thing [whoo!] Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do? Has Christmas lost its meaning? [ECHO] Is Jesus out of date? [ECHO] Well there’s a little Portuguese girl… [a little Portuguese girl] Givin’ reason to celebrate [reason to celebrate!] oh that boring national anthem, [stupid national anthem] It’s irritating and absurd. [ECHO] Children really should be learning, [ECHO] To sing ‘I’m like a bird’ [I’m like a bird] [What are you doing…] On Nelly Furtado Day? [What are you doing…] V-I-C-T-OR-I-A [What are you doing…] On Nelly Furtado Day? [Everybody Britney dance!] piano thing [whoo!]

Trout Thursday Theme Song Stuart's got a bag of potatoes Stuart's got a bag of potatoes Stuart's got a bag of potatoes and Newtie's gettin' his wish 'Cause Andy bought the fresh fish Brookie's got some fresh-cut-up onions Brookie's got some onions fresh cut Brookie's got some fresh-cut-up onions He's cookin' them up with the fish and putting them all in a dish It's not a Friday or a Saturday or a Sunday or a Monday or a Tuesday or a Wednesday oh no... It's a Trout Thursday! (We got us some fish) It's a Trout Thursday! (Put it into a dish) It's a Trout Thursday! (And we're wearin' our toques) It's a Trout Thursday! (Gee, I hope we don't puke) Chippie wants to sleep in 'til Friday Dietey wants to sleep that long too Brookie wants to wake all his friends up And that's what he's gonna do Brookie, Andy, Newtie and Stu Rise and shine my happy roommates Wake up boys, it's a special day Rise and shine, come and eat breakfast We cut up that trout with a knife Today's the best day of your life CHORUS Stuart's got a bag of potatoes Stuart's got a bag of potatoes Stuart's got a bag of potatoes And we're all gettin' our wish Because of that god-given fish... Copyright ©1997, 2002 Brooke Maxwell. All rights reserved.

Where the Smiles are Always Free I know there’s a place, Where the golden sun is shining There’s a smile on every face I know there will come an Age When every color, every nation, Will work for minimum wage. And the place is here, Wherever you are. Be it Kazakhstan Or Vancou-var Yes the time is now, How it could be… Won’t you take me to the place where the smiles are always free.

Heat waves? Hailstorms? How boring! Tsunamis and tornados? Oh please… I prefer my tempests in a teacup. My wicked tastes are more overcast… ‘Round about fourteen degrees… Muh ha ha ha I like it mild, and mild it shall be! Oh that must fill your heart with trepidation! Yes, slightly cloudy with a hint of sunshine, I decree! And possibly a slight chance of … precipitation. [hands rub together…] You wish for snowfall? A white Christmas? Oh, you can dream! I give you drizzle! [Santa never reads your letters!] ho ho! And summer sunshine? Blue skies and ice cream? Ha ha! Well, while I’m the reason that you’ll have to… pack your sweaters! [bwa ha ha!] Oh you might expect that someone with my genius Would make thunderclouds and lightning fill the sky! You think I’d show my rage with stormy weather. But actually, I’m a pretty happy guy… seriously!!! [this is just kind of a hobby …] I like it mild, and mild it shall be! Oh that must fill your heart with trepidation! When I feel wild, I might just raise it one degree! Ha! But there’s always just the slight chance of precipitation! It’s true, on a whim, I could totally ruin your summer vacation. These powers are only limited by my…. Imagination! [unresolved --> skit] Muh ha ha! I like it mild! Ha ha ha ha ha! [Choir] Mild---------------------------- Mild-------------------------- Mild----------------------- Mild------------------- Mild---------------